Today being Zella’s fifth bithday, I got up early to wish her a happy one and see what she wanted to do today. Apparently, the woofers decided to celebrate her birthday a little bit early. I don’t know what the heck happened last night, but I awoke to find four passed out canines, all in some state of disarray–Grimm was naked, Charley was covered in rope toys, Rufus was buried under Grimm and Zella was missing teeth. When I woke them all up, no one could tell me what had happened. They all had conveniently developed a case of amnesia.
What the heck? Where did your teeth go?
I happened to see my camera lying on the couch, definitely not where I had left it. Maybe some clue to the canine exploits was hidden in its memory. I scrolled through the pictures and…OH MY WORD! I have some very bad dogs. Seeing the pictures, though, helped to trigger the dogs memories of the events leading up to this morning. Be warned…what you are about to see and read is not pretty.
The woofers decided it would be great fun to take a road trip for Zella’s birthday (without me, it seems).
The first of their many crimes involved the attempted theft of my car. They all thought it would be awesome fun to take a road trip for Zella’s birthday. Somehow Rufus decided he was driving while Zella rode in the back like she was Miss Daisy or something. However, being unable to reach the pedals and appropriately work the gear shift, they gave up the road trip idea.
Rufus is clearly drunk in this picture. He can’t even sit straight.
Since the road trip was a bust, they all decided to get drunk instead. Zella had the bright idea of using her favorite retrieving toy as a beer bong, thus making the chugging of the alcohol that much easier. Even though all the dogs are technically minors, they again violated the law and drank until they were completely sloshed.
Zella thought her toy would make an excellent beer bong with just a few modifications. You can tell by her eyes that she is already fairly under the influence already.
After being totally and completely inebriated, Zella wanted to tell all her stuffed toys how much she loved them. She started to get a little paranoid and then worried they would leave her for some other dog. Then she got mad at her toys, saying they never loved her…ever…and that she saw them eyeing the other dogs in the house. How could they treat her this way, when she gave them so much of herself, sacrificed so much for them? She then proceeded to eat the face off her (former) stuffed puppy dog. Grimm had to intervene before it got too ugly and the police were called out for a domestic disturbance.
Zella was feeling a little paranoid that all her stuffed toys were going to leave her.
Grimm, who at this point was also completely inebriated, decided that he would take Zella’s ex-toy under his wing. Since Rufus was passed out on the couch, Grimm didn’t have his wingman anymore, so the little faceless stuffed dog would have to do.
“It’s okay, little faceless dog. I’ll be your buddy. Girls are stupid anyways. Who needs ‘em? **Hiccup** It’s just you and me now. We have each other. Shhh…don’t cry, little stuffed dog. Hey, where did your face go?”
Charley, who I thought had more sense than to be suckered into this cesspool of delinquent canine behavior, paraded around modelling the assorted canine rope toys as a new version of a boa. Apparently, he also started singing show tunes as loud as he could and almost broke a hip trying to dance a drunken Charleston. Eventually, he passed out still wearing all the different ropes–why just wear one when you can wear all three?
Apparently Charley thought the rope toys made better fashion accessories.
I never did find out, though, what happened to Zella’s teeth. I swear they were there yesterday. I haven’t found any yet, no blood and there is no photo evidence to help me solve the mystery. I did, however, figure out why Grimm was naked this morning and not wearing his collar. He apparently decided to give it to his new buddy.
Grimm, in his drunken generosity, gave his collar to his new friend.
What a crazy bunch of dogs I have! They are, however, all very ashamed of their delinquent behavior and promise not to get drunk ever again. Here’s to a happy fifth birthday, Zella. Hope you have a fun day sleeping off your hangover and that you and your wolfpack stay out of any more trouble. Now I know what to get you for Christmas…two front teeth.
Love this post and wow what shenanigans those pups of yours were up to last night for Zella’s birthday. Sending birthday snuggles and smooches today!
Zella says thanks for the snuggles and smooches (at least that’s what I think she said–I think she is still drunk, plus she has a bit of a lisp with her missing teeth). Shenanigans is right!
P.S. The coconut cake you made looks delicious! Plus I love the card you made to go with the cake!
Thanks, you know I’ve eaten just as much of the cake as he has… maybe more! It’s really good.
sounds like I missed a great party. Happy Birthday Zella.
Apparently I did too! If there is ever another one (which there shouldn’t be, but with my dogs…who knows), Zella says you’re invited!
Thank you for posting this, I really needed a laugh today. I love the pic of drunk Rufus with that awesome pit smile….hey where did your face go? and that collar shot had me laughing out loud literally!
Glad you enjoyed it! Pit smiles are pretty great, aren’t they?
The evidence is quite convincing – they really have to be more careful about where the cameras are located! And worse yet, they didn’t invite you along. I mean really! If they asked nicely, you might have driven the car for them!
Nancy
I know–a road trip would have been fun, but apparently I was not invited to participate in the debauchery. Well, all I can say is some dog **cough cough** Zella **cough cough** might still have had her teeth if I had been invited. She’ll just have to look like a hillbilly.
You’re assuming she has shame. . . I think she’s plotting the next party already. Better make sure those keys are locked up when you go to bed!
Happy 5th Birthday Zella! What a fantastic party you guys had. Those heads must be hurting something terrible this morning. Hmmm, wonder where those teeth got left?
I honestly have no idea where her teeth went and she’s not talking. By the way, are you sure your little kitten didn’t come over to my house for the party? She sure looks like she could have fit in with my clan post-party. Maybe you should check under her to see if she has Zella’s missing teeth…
Those dogs having fun again – and did the Tooth Fairy come?
No, the tooth fairy never showed up. But in her (or his…who really knows?) defense, I never found any teeth to leave as tribute. The mystery continues…
I love this post! Cayman says, “Party on little dude’s !!”. He also says that his Mama never lets him have ANY fun : (
Probably because his Mama wants him to keep his teeth! If Zella and her wolf pack go on another bender anytime soon, Cayman is welcome to tag along. I can’t promise you, however, that he won’t come back without a tattoo or a poodle haircut.
This is too funny. But what happened to Zella’s teeth?
I honestly have no idea. I think she might have broken them off chewing on a bone, but it could also have been the giant stick she carries around outside or all the frisbee catching she does. Maybe I need to get the girl some dentures…
Just stopping by to say that I enjoy your blog, and nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award! The rules can be found here: http://doublemoonpie.com/2013/02/20/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Thank you so very much for the very kind comment and the award! You made my day!
Thank you for liking my post. I stopped by to meet you and say hello. I started reading your latest post and then just kept going. I just finished my laughing fit after reading this one and had to stop to tell you how much I enjoyed it! I feel like I just started reading a really good book and I want to get back to it. I love your dogs and your style.
Thank you for the truly gracious compliment! As both a dog lover and a blogger, I appreciate the kind sentiment. The picture of the muddy duo on your blog really was too cute! I look forward to exploring more of your blog in the near future!